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I totally have a MASSIVE cuddly monkey.

I mean, I cannot adequately decribe how much cuddly monkey I own as of now. I could try to describe how its head is larger than mine, or how it is probably two to three foot tall in the sitting position, but it's all hopeless, because you just cannot CONVEY how large and awesome this cuddly monkey I now possess is. I mean good God people. It's a large monkey.

I was posting a parcel in town and I went past the window of the charity shop and my first two thoughts were 1) I have no conceivable place to put such a giant cuddly monkey in my home and 2) oh GOD I hope no-one buys it while I run to the bank.

Oh my God it's fucking beautiful. And for £3. £3. That's more cuddly monkey per pound that could ever be fully measured by mankind. We just don't have the tools to undertake a measurement of that magnitude.

I asked how long it had been in the window and they said a week. A week. I was thinking five or ten minutes tops. What's wrong with this town that nobody wants such a gorgeous, two-or-three-foot-sitting monkey with a head bigger than theirs for £3? I don't know, but I bet it's something to do with the underlying problem with the world today. Not wanting something of this magnitude of awesomeness should be a crime. A serious crime.

There was a slightly embarrassing moment when both of the old ladies running the shop insisted on saying goodbye to it and patting it on the head. It was at that point that I understood the slightly fixed expression in my new best buddy's eyes. Help me, it was saying. I was more than happy to oblige.

The twenty-minute walk home was a bit uncomfortable, sure, all that fur having the heat-radiating properties of a furnace and the size meaning I had to carry it bodily under one arm, but oh my GOD it was worth it. Even the funny looks were worth it. I got everything from 'Mummy look at the big monkey' (referring, I hope, to my travelling companion) to 'Bloody hell.' All worth it. I have a giant cuddly monkey sitting on my bed and really, I see no conceivable reason why I should ever feel less than ecstatic ever again.

Have to go- me and it need to discuss sleeping arrangements. Someone's clearly going to have to take the sofa. Y'know, just at first.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 20th, 2009 04:59 am (UTC)
I wanna cuddleh monkeh!
Aug. 20th, 2009 07:32 am (UTC)
*laughs maniacally*

.... :(

Aug. 20th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC)

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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